How do I keep jumping from being enlightened to misery

This world we live in has kept me questioning my very own sanity and perhaps it is actually meant that way?

I can go from complete peace within where everything just makes sense to complete distraction and anger where nothing makes sense. Sometimes it is really difficult to comprehend how I can easily shift from what I call, Thereforeheaven to hell. What I find frustrating is that they make it look so easy to be in this awakened state and that now abundance and prosperity will be attracted in your life, just like magic. However, is that really the situation when you start your awakening journey?

I am in a complete mess in a situation of fear that is within me, yet I hold my hand up for the light to seek comfort and safety.

I am angry at the world and the circumstances and challenges we face. I struggle with the people and their judgments about myself and my family. I struggle with how unfair people can be with one another especially when in need . Not everyone has the same life story and everyone’s struggles are real no matter how it is perceived or even judged. We are all living in a time of challenges and difficulties. A time of reflection and a time of purpose. It is so easy to judge and turn the eye, however it is really difficult to be humble and make a change.

Basically no matter the difficulties, find peace and everything will turn out as it should.

I find that easily said than done at times,

especially for those who have no food to eat, or for those who struggle with eviction due to financial struggles, or for those who have a terminal illness, or have lost a loved one. This is where my awakening starts and I struggle. I can see it clearly I suppose and it is tormenting. This is where my growth starts as a human and a spiritual being. If I can master to be calm in the most uncertain times, it is there where the magic truly lies.

The awakening journey is not easy and there will be troubling times. There will be times where you feel so lost and sad within and there will be times where you will find peace. There will be times where everything is going to make sense and you will see how each piece of a puzzle just makes a whole picture. Each piece of a parcel that represents your spiritual growth.

This absolutely explains everything. Therefore if you are struggling and things in life are difficult, know that you are not alone.

Therefore to answer my question about why I keep falling form enlightenment to misery, is that I am learning through each experiences that helps me grow to my very own purpose in this life. In order to get up, I have to fall. In order to learn, I need to take the lesson. The lessons that we experience are for our own individual growth therefore we are uniquely experiencing and receiving this this experience. Our souls are in constant growth and it is an everlasting evolution.


“The Poetry Of Krissy Wright

“The Now”

In the moment of silence
I speak
I seek
I thrive in the very moment
As I close my eyes
I feel
I am alive
I know open my eyes
I am awake

I let go of fear
I breath
I am conscious
A great silence in space
filled with gratitude
I am love
I feel mercy in its grace
I was once asleep
Universe, I am now awake

The Earth is my teacher
I observe
I learn
I reconnect with my true being
My awareness
Now in this very present
This very gift of life
I am silent
I am now awake

Stillness speaks
The language of life
In the Now
This Moment
I breath
I am alive

Look within
sense it
This is where it starts
This is where it ends
Listen to the tune
We are one

Written by K.P

Namaste 🙏

How to stop the cycle of Abuse

Site Icon

The Toxic Environment

I remember how it would feel being in the house. I felt this shaky and unwelcoming feeling coming over me. I felt that I was monitored every single move that I was making. This constant walking on eggshells was making me sick. Yet for the longest time, I felt that it was my fault. The presence of negativity I was feeling was making me question if this is really a normal way to live. As soon as I would leave the house, I would feel that heavy feeling being lifted. I felt free and very happy to be away from there. I would find myself working over time, only to avoid going home. This feeling got stronger and stronger and he must have sensed it since he got more and more controlling. He would shout more and the look on his face was scarier. I knew I had to make a change. This is where I asked myself questions and started my journey of self-love. With time, I just could not live there anymore. I had to get out !

It is crazy how someone can actually mess with your mind, until you are actually out of the situation. Although you may have left the situation, you can still have this constant guard and defense. You may feel angrier than usual and have mood swings from being happy to sad without warning. You may even think that you are going crazy, however you are not! When you are on constant survival, your body physically is constantly on a survival mode where it stores everything in, however it is not dealing with it. When you finally allow yourself to leave, your body eventually starts to release all that was taken in. This can take a long time before it does that and it is where you start feeling safe again. Therefore all the anger and sadness that was not dealt with, is now coming to surface. It is so confusing, because you would think that finally you are out of this situation to feel happy, yet it is the exact opposite. This is the moment where you have to allow yourself to feel and heal. Understanding that living in a home that is toxic can seriously cause anxiety and depression. When there is mental, verbal and physical abuse it can set your mind , body and soul in an constant survival mode and this is not healthy.


When you are constantly being belittled, shouted, name calling or told that you are not smart, or good enough and physically hurt in any way by your partner, YOU NEED TO GET OUT! There is no scale too how bad it needs to get to consider it abuse, if it is happening it is abuse.

Therefore if it comes to a point that arguments are now shifting to become toxic where there is abuse instead of communication, it is no longer safe and healthy to stay in this kind of relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs and there will always be arguments, however not to the point where you are hurt physically and mentally. Even if they apologize, this is a big red flag. Sorry’s don’t mean nothing to the abuser. This is another tactic they use to get you stay and put up with this nonsense. The reality is as victims , is that our low self esteem and emphatic nature we draw those kind of people to us. We have to become stronger and use their ways to get what we need to get out for good! We have to become self aware and confident. We also have to become wise in their ways and learn to outsmart them. However, there has to be a plan and safety measures have to be taken in consideration. Therefore if you can get help, that would be essential for you to get out of this situation in a safely manner.


You deserve to be happy, loved and appreciated for the true person that you are. No one should ever have the right to change you. This is not love! Be proud of who you are and your strength. This is not a situation to be taken lightly, in fact, it shows how much inner strength and will power you have to survive. You can and deserve to live in an nontoxic home, where you want to come home and feel safe.

Namaste 🙏

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

Toxic Relationships

Why stay in a relationship when you are not happy? Why stay in a relationship that doesn’t treat you right and feeds you what you need? Why stay in a relationship that is unfaithful and disrespectful to your needs? Why put up with it every single day? The questions can go on, yet how many of us will find an excuse for each of them. Now the next question that I have is this; If this was a friend or your children or even a coworker that is having those troubles in their relationship, what advice will you give them? I bet that your excuses are now turned to the opposite and say something completely different. There are no excuses.

We are our own individual self perfectly made in the light of the universe for our soul to recreate with our reflection. “Soul mate”

When we are with the wrong person no matter how much you try, it will lead to misery either way. Something inside you will always feel empty and no matter what good day you may have, that emptiness will remain. How many times do you feel this void and you can’t answer why really, yet it is unavoidable.

Be with someone that makes you happy and loves you for the unique way you truly are.”

When you continue to find excuses to remain in a relationship that does not serve you, you will stop yourself from finding the right match in your life.

You deserve to be treated with love. You deserve to be in love and enjoy the time with your partner. You will notice that you are feeling complete and exited to be with your partner. Also you will grow with them and learn from them a lot about yourself and that realisation will bring wisdom and fulfilment in your life.

If you are afraid of letting go because you are afraid of making the biggest mistake, note that this is already your confirmation to let go!

“Remember this”

If you have to change in order to please someone else, you are not in the right place and it is time to change direction.

Namaste 🙏

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

Will Trauma ever go away?

No, but with effective evidence-based treatment, symptoms can be managed well and can remain dormant for years, even decades. But because the trauma that evokes the symptoms will never go away, there is a possibility for those symptoms to be “triggered” again in the future.

Trauma is very real and painful

With experiencing narcisstic abuse and you were also a victim of child abuse, perhaps you have sudden feelings of shame or get sudden panic attacks. You may also have extreme mood swings from anger to sadness and even depression. You may not even know why this is happening and you find yourself all curled up wanting to be alone. Although you may no longer be in those situations, you are experiencing the after fact and with our daily lives there are still things that we hear and see that can trigger us to feel this way. This is very overwhelming and difficult to experience since others think that you are just angry for no reason, yet although you don’t know the reason for your actions, they are very normal. You will have sudden irrational behaviour that will cause you to feel so vulnerable or hurt. Allow it to occur and say to yourself that you are okay and that everything is safe now. Allow yourself to heal. Very importantly, give yourself time to heal. You can still experience this many years later and find yourself asking, what is going on since those sudden feelings are confusing.

You may also be angry or find yourself reasons to be angry with your loved one for no apparent reason. You are fighting and releasing the pain onto others for your pain needs to be heard, yet you find yourself having no irrational explanation for this.

Learn to recognize the symptoms and allow yourself to heal and most importantly allow yourself to be loved.

Although trauma will never cure, you can learn and understand the symptoms to allow yourself to heal in your life and to live a healthier way.

Remember that there is nothing wrong with you, however it is the situation or the abuse that was not healthy.

Namaste 🙏

The Poetry Of Krissy Wright

The Unknown

The love and universal gravity

The insanity that comes with the unknown

A tune that sings with familiarity

A phenomenon that has yet to be shown

The wind is hurling through the branches

The refreshment in the shade under the trees

The uncertainty of what now is sinless

Standing in my bare skin so careless

Troubles that come and go are ruthless

Yet in its context there is truthfulness

Words written in scripts on walls

Trying to comprehend yet it is meaningless

The warmth that lights down from the heaven’s

Its desirability reaching so endless

Desperate need to hold its wings

I now understand the truth it brings

We are not to understand as human beings

We are to flow in the direction of waters

As we let the stream see where it brings

— the unknown —

Written by Kristina

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

We create our reality through our subconscious thoughts and upbringing

Krissy since young age learned to live a life that was a very negative. A negative cycle Krissy sees happening in her environment and subconsciously manifesting in her life. Questions people keep having is, “why does this keep happening to me, or why is life not fair? How did I end up in my mother’s or father’s shoes?” We can only change if we go within and acknowledge a pattern. How did we grow up and what were we taught as children? If you were taught that life is difficult,[ that you have to work hard to earn a living, that life isn’t fair, well this is what you are creating subconsciously in your reality. There is always a way that we feel and what we feel is not wrong or right however a pattern that is established. A pattern of,” I feel depressed, ” will manifest to reality, just as much as if” I feel wonderful, “will manifest. So if we have a thought pattern of how to feel, act, say, live ect. Subconsciously you are living that.
For example, life can be fair if you make it a pattern of thinking it. Our minds are so powerful, the most powerful tool you ever need to step out or in a cycle.

Therefore as children we copy a lot of behaviour that we see, especially those whom we are guided by. However when there is no proper guidance than there is distraction and confusion with others and within ourselves. When as a child you are told boys don’t cry or girls are sissy, because you are in pain after hurting yourself, or your sad after losing something special to you. Why are we being guided saying that to be strong you don’t feel or to hide it. A normal reaction to pain is to cry. We feel something and we are told “not to feel.” How are we to love ourselves when we are explained that what we feel is not to be. This is what started with me and how I manifested this negativity reality. The simple basic nature of a baby is to cry when they are hungry, or to cry because they are in discomfort, or to laugh because they feel joyous and yet we are denied that basic instinct to uphold an image that society has created for us. We can’t see this, yet unfortunately it is happening in our environment.

It is so important to knowing who you are.” Knowing who you are opens doors to all possibilities. Knowing who you are can get you out of a cycle that hurts you. Knowing who you are can lead you from negative relationships to your soul mate. Knowing who you are can lead to places and jobs that serve you. Knowing who you are opens the gateway of freedom.
Why is it important?
You are not pretending to be someone your not and that includes everything else that comes along with it. Change is action. Freedom is choosing and to live is being who you are!

Namaste 🙏

My shadow self

“Mirror, mirror on the wall

When will let me free once and for all

It is round shaped like a circle

It is dark filled with a light

It is a solar eclipse just right

It has flares so very bright

It has an eye out for me

Questioning my every move

It is attracting my reality

Making it so undeniably true

It is a mirror right into my soul

It already has a divine goal

to manifest and to receive

I need to withdraw my grief

My very own wound to heal

For It is greater than me

For it is my true destiny

To see the light within me

love is a sign of growth

Life is teaching me on earth

My experience far greater

My soul is getting nearer

To where I am truly to be

My shadow self teaching me

The greater beauty that lies within me

Written by : Kristina Pearson

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

This is where it all starts with hatred around the world, religion, war, racism, domestic violence and other crimes where we defriend ourselves and become our worst enemy. It starts with us human beings.

Fear and self-hatred become our nightmare and unfortunate miss self-treatment in the universe. We are very likely to blame and hate everyone around us where in truth we hate ourselves our reflection of the mirror, deep in our eyes the reflection of all things lived, pain and suffering. We are hurting our own inner being, our own reality.

Our selflove comes from childhood and how we learn to perceive our environment and upbringing.

Children need to be in a home that is respectful, loving and Supportive. They need proper guidance. How are parents contributing to that matter if they are hurting or have a past that did not have proper guidance. In fact many parents today admit that they did not want to repeat what happened in their homes, however are finding themselves doing just that?

As children we look up to our parents. We want to make them happy and proud of us. This also can have a twisted turn when we don’t get the attention we need. As children, we are very sensitive and vulnerable. This is the importance of childhood and how we become as Adults. How we look at life and the choices we make starts as children, therefore as parents we need to heal to ensure positive upbringing of our children. Let them be free of your suffering and regrets so that we may prosper. It starts right now with us. Together we can heal ourselves and make this world a better place to live.

Namaste 🙏