How to stop the cycle of Abuse

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The Toxic Environment

I remember how it would feel being in the house. I felt this shaky and unwelcoming feeling coming over me. I felt that I was monitored every single move that I was making. This constant walking on eggshells was making me sick. Yet for the longest time, I felt that it was my fault. The presence of negativity I was feeling was making me question if this is really a normal way to live. As soon as I would leave the house, I would feel that heavy feeling being lifted. I felt free and very happy to be away from there. I would find myself working over time, only to avoid going home. This feeling got stronger and stronger and he must have sensed it since he got more and more controlling. He would shout more and the look on his face was scarier. I knew I had to make a change. This is where I asked myself questions and started my journey of self-love. With time, I just could not live there anymore. I had to get out !

It is crazy how someone can actually mess with your mind, until you are actually out of the situation. Although you may have left the situation, you can still have this constant guard and defense. You may feel angrier than usual and have mood swings from being happy to sad without warning. You may even think that you are going crazy, however you are not! When you are on constant survival, your body physically is constantly on a survival mode where it stores everything in, however it is not dealing with it. When you finally allow yourself to leave, your body eventually starts to release all that was taken in. This can take a long time before it does that and it is where you start feeling safe again. Therefore all the anger and sadness that was not dealt with, is now coming to surface. It is so confusing, because you would think that finally you are out of this situation to feel happy, yet it is the exact opposite. This is the moment where you have to allow yourself to feel and heal. Understanding that living in a home that is toxic can seriously cause anxiety and depression. When there is mental, verbal and physical abuse it can set your mind , body and soul in an constant survival mode and this is not healthy.

***REMINDER***

When you are constantly being belittled, shouted, name calling or told that you are not smart, or good enough and physically hurt in any way by your partner, YOU NEED TO GET OUT! There is no scale too how bad it needs to get to consider it abuse, if it is happening it is abuse.

Therefore if it comes to a point that arguments are now shifting to become toxic where there is abuse instead of communication, it is no longer safe and healthy to stay in this kind of relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs and there will always be arguments, however not to the point where you are hurt physically and mentally. Even if they apologize, this is a big red flag. Sorry’s don’t mean nothing to the abuser. This is another tactic they use to get you stay and put up with this nonsense. The reality is as victims , is that our low self esteem and emphatic nature we draw those kind of people to us. We have to become stronger and use their ways to get what we need to get out for good! We have to become self aware and confident. We also have to become wise in their ways and learn to outsmart them. However, there has to be a plan and safety measures have to be taken in consideration. Therefore if you can get help, that would be essential for you to get out of this situation in a safely manner.

***Remember***

You deserve to be happy, loved and appreciated for the true person that you are. No one should ever have the right to change you. This is not love! Be proud of who you are and your strength. This is not a situation to be taken lightly, in fact, it shows how much inner strength and will power you have to survive. You can and deserve to live in an nontoxic home, where you want to come home and feel safe.

Namaste 🙏

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

Toxic Relationships

Why stay in a relationship when you are not happy? Why stay in a relationship that doesn’t treat you right and feeds you what you need? Why stay in a relationship that is unfaithful and disrespectful to your needs? Why put up with it every single day? The questions can go on, yet how many of us will find an excuse for each of them. Now the next question that I have is this; If this was a friend or your children or even a coworker that is having those troubles in their relationship, what advice will you give them? I bet that your excuses are now turned to the opposite and say something completely different. There are no excuses.

We are our own individual self perfectly made in the light of the universe for our soul to recreate with our reflection. “Soul mate”

When we are with the wrong person no matter how much you try, it will lead to misery either way. Something inside you will always feel empty and no matter what good day you may have, that emptiness will remain. How many times do you feel this void and you can’t answer why really, yet it is unavoidable.

Be with someone that makes you happy and loves you for the unique way you truly are.”

When you continue to find excuses to remain in a relationship that does not serve you, you will stop yourself from finding the right match in your life.

You deserve to be treated with love. You deserve to be in love and enjoy the time with your partner. You will notice that you are feeling complete and exited to be with your partner. Also you will grow with them and learn from them a lot about yourself and that realisation will bring wisdom and fulfilment in your life.

If you are afraid of letting go because you are afraid of making the biggest mistake, note that this is already your confirmation to let go!

“Remember this”

If you have to change in order to please someone else, you are not in the right place and it is time to change direction.

Namaste 🙏

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

Will Trauma ever go away?

No, but with effective evidence-based treatment, symptoms can be managed well and can remain dormant for years, even decades. But because the trauma that evokes the symptoms will never go away, there is a possibility for those symptoms to be “triggered” again in the future.

Trauma is very real and painful

With experiencing narcisstic abuse and you were also a victim of child abuse, perhaps you have sudden feelings of shame or get sudden panic attacks. You may also have extreme mood swings from anger to sadness and even depression. You may not even know why this is happening and you find yourself all curled up wanting to be alone. Although you may no longer be in those situations, you are experiencing the after fact and with our daily lives there are still things that we hear and see that can trigger us to feel this way. This is very overwhelming and difficult to experience since others think that you are just angry for no reason, yet although you don’t know the reason for your actions, they are very normal. You will have sudden irrational behaviour that will cause you to feel so vulnerable or hurt. Allow it to occur and say to yourself that you are okay and that everything is safe now. Allow yourself to heal. Very importantly, give yourself time to heal. You can still experience this many years later and find yourself asking, what is going on since those sudden feelings are confusing.

You may also be angry or find yourself reasons to be angry with your loved one for no apparent reason. You are fighting and releasing the pain onto others for your pain needs to be heard, yet you find yourself having no irrational explanation for this.

Learn to recognize the symptoms and allow yourself to heal and most importantly allow yourself to be loved.

Although trauma will never cure, you can learn and understand the symptoms to allow yourself to heal in your life and to live a healthier way.

Remember that there is nothing wrong with you, however it is the situation or the abuse that was not healthy.

Namaste 🙏

The Poetry Of Krissy Wright

The Unknown

The love and universal gravity

The insanity that comes with the unknown

A tune that sings with familiarity

A phenomenon that has yet to be shown

The wind is hurling through the branches

The refreshment in the shade under the trees

The uncertainty of what now is sinless

Standing in my bare skin so careless

Troubles that come and go are ruthless

Yet in its context there is truthfulness

Words written in scripts on walls

Trying to comprehend yet it is meaningless

The warmth that lights down from the heaven’s

Its desirability reaching so endless

Desperate need to hold its wings

I now understand the truth it brings

We are not to understand as human beings

We are to flow in the direction of waters

As we let the stream see where it brings

— the unknown —

Written by Kristina

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

We create our reality through our subconscious thoughts and upbringing

Krissy since young age learned to live a life that was a very negative. A negative cycle Krissy sees happening in her environment and subconsciously manifesting in her life. Questions people keep having is, “why does this keep happening to me, or why is life not fair? How did I end up in my mother’s or father’s shoes?” We can only change if we go within and acknowledge a pattern. How did we grow up and what were we taught as children? If you were taught that life is difficult,[ that you have to work hard to earn a living, that life isn’t fair, well this is what you are creating subconsciously in your reality. There is always a way that we feel and what we feel is not wrong or right however a pattern that is established. A pattern of,” I feel depressed, ” will manifest to reality, just as much as if” I feel wonderful, “will manifest. So if we have a thought pattern of how to feel, act, say, live ect. Subconsciously you are living that.
For example, life can be fair if you make it a pattern of thinking it. Our minds are so powerful, the most powerful tool you ever need to step out or in a cycle.

Therefore as children we copy a lot of behaviour that we see, especially those whom we are guided by. However when there is no proper guidance than there is distraction and confusion with others and within ourselves. When as a child you are told boys don’t cry or girls are sissy, because you are in pain after hurting yourself, or your sad after losing something special to you. Why are we being guided saying that to be strong you don’t feel or to hide it. A normal reaction to pain is to cry. We feel something and we are told “not to feel.” How are we to love ourselves when we are explained that what we feel is not to be. This is what started with me and how I manifested this negativity reality. The simple basic nature of a baby is to cry when they are hungry, or to cry because they are in discomfort, or to laugh because they feel joyous and yet we are denied that basic instinct to uphold an image that society has created for us. We can’t see this, yet unfortunately it is happening in our environment.


It is so important to knowing who you are.” Knowing who you are opens doors to all possibilities. Knowing who you are can get you out of a cycle that hurts you. Knowing who you are can lead you from negative relationships to your soul mate. Knowing who you are can lead to places and jobs that serve you. Knowing who you are opens the gateway of freedom.
Why is it important?
You are not pretending to be someone your not and that includes everything else that comes along with it. Change is action. Freedom is choosing and to live is being who you are!

Namaste 🙏

My shadow self

“Mirror, mirror on the wall

When will let me free once and for all

It is round shaped like a circle

It is dark filled with a light

It is a solar eclipse just right

It has flares so very bright

It has an eye out for me

Questioning my every move

It is attracting my reality

Making it so undeniably true

It is a mirror right into my soul

It already has a divine goal

to manifest and to receive

I need to withdraw my grief

My very own wound to heal

For It is greater than me

For it is my true destiny

To see the light within me

love is a sign of growth

Life is teaching me on earth

My experience far greater

My soul is getting nearer

To where I am truly to be

My shadow self teaching me

The greater beauty that lies within me

Written by : Kristina Pearson

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

This is where it all starts with hatred around the world, religion, war, racism, domestic violence and other crimes where we defriend ourselves and become our worst enemy. It starts with us human beings.

Fear and self-hatred become our nightmare and unfortunate miss self-treatment in the universe. We are very likely to blame and hate everyone around us where in truth we hate ourselves our reflection of the mirror, deep in our eyes the reflection of all things lived, pain and suffering. We are hurting our own inner being, our own reality.

Our selflove comes from childhood and how we learn to perceive our environment and upbringing.

Children need to be in a home that is respectful, loving and Supportive. They need proper guidance. How are parents contributing to that matter if they are hurting or have a past that did not have proper guidance. In fact many parents today admit that they did not want to repeat what happened in their homes, however are finding themselves doing just that?

As children we look up to our parents. We want to make them happy and proud of us. This also can have a twisted turn when we don’t get the attention we need. As children, we are very sensitive and vulnerable. This is the importance of childhood and how we become as Adults. How we look at life and the choices we make starts as children, therefore as parents we need to heal to ensure positive upbringing of our children. Let them be free of your suffering and regrets so that we may prosper. It starts right now with us. Together we can heal ourselves and make this world a better place to live.

Namaste 🙏

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

Teenage depression

The story of Krissy Wright

Teenage depression is serious and not to be overlooked. They won’t look like they are and they won’t tell you that they are depressed, in fact they will make it look like everything is fine until they close the doors.

What happens behind close doors is actually really frightening. The problem is that they are very good with putting on a mask and have their parents and friends fooled.

I remember in high school we had an assignment to hand in and we could choose any topic that was important to us.

I have chosen this topic depression since I know it was touching the life’s of a lot of people especially younger teenagers. With today’s pressure and society it is difficult to get by. I remember only being 15 years old and I was able to hand in a complete report about depression and their symptoms without research. I also had to present it in class where my teacher was left speechless. My classmates clapped their hands and I remembered how lucky I was to have survived depression.
Unfortunately this does not happen with everyone and loved ones are left behind wondering what has happened and why suicide?
Depression is a silent killer and we need to be aware.

There is no rational decision with depression. The pain is so real and unbearable that all they seek is closure. “I just want it to stop!” I remembered saying to my self. It is out of control and we can’t make healthy choices when we are in that state of mind. That is why help is needed for teenagers or anyone undergoing depression.

If they start hiding in their rooms or sleeping the majority of time, when you see or hear them crying silently or any type of addictive behaviour, get help! Don’t wait it out or say it is nothing, because in the end those decisions can result negatively.

Namaste 🙏

How to stop the cycle of abuse ✋

Anxiety

How can we overcome anxiety?Is there even a way that we can go without it? For those of you who are struggling with anxiety, it is very difficult at times. You don’t know what is happening to your body that moment since it actually feels like a heart attack. It is so scary at times. It can completely change you, leaving you with irrational behaviour or extreme mood swings. When Anxiety hits, it literally takes over you leaving you out of control and helpless.

I remember waking up in the middle of night with cold sweats, shivering along with heart palpitations, feeling like I couldn’t catch my breath.

We live in survival, on guard 24/7.We can’t eat sometimes or sleep or even think straight at time. You can’t help wonder, “what if….” You feel your heart race, and you are tired all the time. Before you know, you have physical symptoms like stomach issues, weight issues, concentration problems, and depression.

Third step, everything happens for a reason. Your body experiences those emotions since it is a cycle of a continuous matter that is affecting you. So we need to ask questions that go within. For example, “where is this feeling coming from? Or why am I reacting like this now? Like I said, everything happens for a reason. Find the reason and you find your medicine to heal anxiety. Everything on a timely matter. you will start to feel better and in control and before you know it is no longer with you.

Therefore you learn to manage your anxiety and live a better life.

Namaste 🙏