There are so many questions about how to leave or where do I start to leave a toxic relationship. Often times, I see posts about where they feel it is their fate to be in this kind of relationship and it really saddens me to read it. Their partners will cheat, lie, emotionally torture them, physically abuse and hurt you. Than they will turn around and say this magic three words that will keep you hanging on once more until one day, it might be too late.
“I AM SORRY!”
What it is really telling you is, “please let me continue to hurt you in that matter which I know you truly deserve if only you didn’t……
Now this is the dreadful part you really need to stop for one moment and actually hear what they are saying…..”If only YOU did not make me so ANGRY, If you only YOU were not so STUPID, if only you did not give me this ATTITUDE, if only YOU were not such a SLUT, I cheated on you, because YOU don’t do it for me anymore, YOU are not attractive, if only YOU did not nag me all the time, etc., unfortunately the list can go on and on. IF ONLY, YOU, YOU, YOU and where is the, ME, in all this??? This is where the abuse lies and mentally hurts you into believing it is your fault, which actually is their own responsibility for their own actions! Let’s just say hypothetically you are all those things they mentioned, it does NOT EXCUSE THEIR ACTIONS! Who are they to judge when it is right or wrong in the actions you are displaying verses their own?
The answer is, NONE!!! They are shifting blame onto you for their own actions and that is a BIG NO!!!
"NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ILL TREATED IN ANY WAY!"
There are no excuses for their actions and I can tell you that through my experiences and learning about, “Domestic Violence,” this is NOT LOVE. The reality of the fact is that they really don’t love you and that really hurts. You already know deep down inside that they don’t, I am just confirming it!
What to do from here?
****Ask yourself this****
1)Do you really want to live your life with someone who does not LOVE YOU?
Do you really want to continue your life with someone that you fear?
Do you want to be with someone who is intimately with someone else?
Do you want your life to continue in shame, heartache and misery?
2)Do you want your life with someone who truly loves you?
Do you want your life with someone who truly makes you feel comfortable and happy?
Do you want to be with someone who chooses you and is only intimate with you?
Do you want your life filled with joy, love, and happiness?
If your answer is (1) which no one will want to choose this for their lives, than perhaps you should continue on this path.
If your answer is (2) it is time for some changes NOW. NOT LATER or when you believe the time is right, IT IS NOW!
Where do I start?
Do I just grab my bags and leave ?
Well, the answer to this question, has to be thought through. You will need to educate yourself and ensure that when you do leave, there is a back up plan and that you are confident within yourself to ensure that you don’t end up going back or pursuing same kind of relationships that are toxic.
On my next blog, I will discuss on How to do that and what it will require to get yourself out of this abusive cycle towards true love.