This world we live in has kept me questioning my very own sanity and perhaps it is actually meant that way?
I can go from complete peace within where everything just makes sense to complete distraction and anger where nothing makes sense. Sometimes it is really difficult to comprehend how I can easily shift from what I call, Thereforeheaven to hell. What I find frustrating is that they make it look so easy to be in this awakened state and that now abundance and prosperity will be attracted in your life, just like magic. However, is that really the situation when you start your awakening journey?
I am angry at the world and the circumstances and challenges we face. I struggle with the people and their judgments about myself and my family. I struggle with how unfair people can be with one another especially when in need . Not everyone has the same life story and everyone’s struggles are real no matter how it is perceived or even judged. We are all living in a time of challenges and difficulties. A time of reflection and a time of purpose. It is so easy to judge and turn the eye, however it is really difficult to be humble and make a change.
I find that easily said than done at times,
especially for those who have no food to eat, or for those who struggle with eviction due to financial struggles, or for those who have a terminal illness, or have lost a loved one. This is where my awakening starts and I struggle. I can see it clearly I suppose and it is tormenting. This is where my growth starts as a human and a spiritual being. If I can master to be calm in the most uncertain times, it is there where the magic truly lies.
The awakening journey is not easy and there will be troubling times. There will be times where you feel so lost and sad within and there will be times where you will find peace. There will be times where everything is going to make sense and you will see how each piece of a puzzle just makes a whole picture. Each piece of a parcel that represents your spiritual growth.
Therefore to answer my question about why I keep falling form enlightenment to misery, is that I am learning through each experiences that helps me grow to my very own purpose in this life. In order to get up, I have to fall. In order to learn, I need to take the lesson. The lessons that we experience are for our own individual growth therefore we are uniquely experiencing and receiving this this experience. Our souls are in constant growth and it is an everlasting evolution.